In the past year, I changed schools for Claire, because I no longer had faith in her old school as a healthy and safe learning environment. Part of the reason was that she was being physically bullied and her class teacher simply couldn't care less despite me personally marching up to her and letting her know about the bullying taking place.
Naturally I also scolded Claire and told her she had to learn to stand up for herself when she is bullied.
In this new school, she has had a couple of unpleasant encounters, which she related to me this week. As a mother, I couldn't help but feel heartpain that my little girl was treated unpleasantly, but yet I know that I cannot protect her forever, and, well, she had better start to deal with this herself.
Encounter 1
Claire related how her teacher had given her class back their artwork for the year. However, she had only three pieces of art as opposed to her classmates' six pieces of art, because she had only transferred to the school in July. She then revealed that she felt very unhappy. After a little probing I realised that a large part of her unhappiness was because a classmate, G, had laughed at her because she had less art pieces than the rest of the class. (Erm, like, seriously?? That is worth laughing over???)
Me: Did you say anything to G?
Claire: No.
Me: But do you think it was correct of G to laugh at you?
Claire: No.
Me: It wasn't nice, right?
Claire: Yes.
Me: So next time if she does it to you again you tell her that that was not nice of her, ok?
Claire: Ok. Mummy, I don't feel sad anymore. Because it was not nice of G.
Encounter 2
Today Claire told me that A and D had laughed at her and said she was I's boyfriend (for some reason, they found it very funny to say boyfriend instead of girlfriend - yes, they did it on purpose).
Me: Then what did you do?
Claire: I told them that that was not funny.
Me: And it wasn't nice of them also right?
Claire: Yes.
Me: So there's no need to be sad right? Because you didn't do anything wrong.
Claire: Yes. (after a hug) Ok mummy, I know already. I'm not sad.
Although they are still young, I feel that they should learn to be sensitive to others' feelings. If no one stops them, by the time they enter proper school, that's where your school bullying starts. I can trace my own insecurities to way back in primary school, when a boy laughed at me and called me ugly. To this day, I remember it and it both stings and stinks, still. As a result of that one comment made, I had an inferiority complex and placed an overimportance on looks all throughout my life, even now, when deep down I know it is not the be all and end all.
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